Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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