Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
