I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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