So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
