Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
