Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
