It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
