She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
