His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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