that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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