Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
