he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
