the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
