i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
