Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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