I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
