I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
