You're my little dorito
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
