No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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