your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
