WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
