You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
