Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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