sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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