I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
