maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
