I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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