yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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