i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
