well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
