Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
