someone get that fucking seahorse.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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