Its about making memories worth repressing
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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