what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
