Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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