Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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