So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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