This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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