That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
