Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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