Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
