Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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