there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
