super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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