it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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