Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
