i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
