spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She announced her abortion via fbk
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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