it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize