i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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