I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
