My balls are so social today.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize