..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
