Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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