Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The Olympian is in my bed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize