Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
