Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
