Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
soo... how was my night?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
